What's In A Ring? The Truth About Wedding Rings, Love, And All That Glitters

Rings are circles that are never ending; round and round they go, approaching and reapproaching the romantic symbol of undying love. Their presence on one’s hand, a testament to their sense of belonging to another. The size of their rocks, equivalent to the depth of one’s commitment to the ring receiver. The make up of the metal, indicative of the purity of the buyer’s love. And so on and so on…

But are they?

After sharing income taxes with one man for 11 years, I have learned that a ring is just a shape. Just as, the moon is just a rock. And an expectation is the kiss of death for any sort of happiness. Because, rings and stones and metals don’t promise a lifetime of marital bliss; instead they personify a traditional sense of entitlement and expectation that aim to cleave the relationship from its heavenly start.

Because, it defines love before we discover what it truly is. And Love isn’t what any of us thought it was going to be.

Love isn’t full of expensive trinkets, it's full of forgiveness. It isn’t full of poems, it is full of prayers. It isn’t measured by the carat of the diamond, it is measured by the clarity of one’s intentions. Love isn’t worth its weight in gold, it is worth its weight in good deeds. Love doesn’t survive through the remembrance of love songs, it survives in spite of one’s forgetfulness of them. Love isn’t contained within that wedding ring, it expands beyond it. Love isn’t found in the fragrance of valentine’s day flowers, it is found in the petals of gratitude.

So why then did I resize my husband's wedding ring again this year?

To remind him that real love is impermanent. While it never dies, it does change. And we must change with it; lest we let it slip through our fingers.

For, when we outgrow the parameters of love our minds imagined for it, we need to expand our ideas.

When love takes a dark turn, we need to turn on the light.

When it is bursting at the seams, we need to make a little more room.

When it has lost it’s way, we need to turn it back around.

When it has been chipped, we need to find beauty in its imperfections.

And when it becomes tarnished, we need to polish it up.

So wear your rings, and flash those stones, and etch something clever inside those bands for your sweethearts.

But, when that ring no longer fits in the box you carved out for it, don’t let it outlive the reason for which it was bought in the first place. Only, your willingness to change with love will keep it coming full circle.